When Sex Can Trash the Self

A woman I know told me that when she first had sex and lost her virginity, she felt she had been run over by a Mack truck. She felt it took her years to recover from it. But because of her mental conditioning, she thought that that was supposed to happen. That somehow her self esteem was supposed to diminish. She was thrown off her path for years just by having teenage sex with a man who didn’t care about her, and with men afterwards who did not esteem her at all. They thought of her as someone fluffy, disposable, not to be taken seriously. They did not see her as powerful.

In my teens and twenties, when I was certain I understood sex perfectly, I often had unemotional, athletic sex with men.  When we parted company, it was clean (I thought).  We’d had a good time and then it was over.  The “game” part of me was smug – I’d fulfilled my sex drive for a little while.  But my being, the ancient, sensitive, psychic being that I and all women are, was not pleased. 

There was actually a subtle feeling, something like my friend’s.  Not a Mack Truck but maybe a Mini Cooper that was driving in the wrong direction after the encounter.  I was drained and I knew it.  Taking a shower, going to classes, focusing on other things took the edge off the sense of unease, but if someone had asked me to respond with three answers to the question, How do you feel right now? – the third answer being closest to truth –I would have admitted that I felt like shi_.

These moments happen because there is something basic that men and women, teens, tweens do not understand.  As a woman, you have an energy body that is very fluid, it extends out from your physical body like a large butterfly’s wings.  As a woman, you conduct life force much more rapidly than a man, and because of this, your essential nature is power.  Women exemplify power.  Look at how power is generated in nature and technology – the core of power is rapid movement.  This is how life force or kundalini energy is conducted through the energy body of a woman – rapidly, capable of fast transmutation.

The energy body of men is denser, more tightly packed.  They conduct life force more slowly than women.  Their essential nature, the equalities they exemplify, are love and humility.

It’s a tendency of human nature (male or female) to destroy what one is threatened by.  Thus men, threatened by the power of women, have tried to suppress it in every way.  For many thousands of years, women have been suppressed socially, emotionally, financially, held back from education – to the extent that women themselves began to think they were weak. 

Now, in this mental age, the power of women is becoming more and more evident.  You as a woman have power, but you can trash it.

For example, let’s say you, a woman, want to go out and have sex with a male partner (this scenario refers to heterosexual relations).  Consider the dynamics. 

Your energy body vibrates faster than his.  Your energy body is also more sensitive than his.  Let’s say this man is like many men and still harbors some distrust or resentment towards the power of women.  When you go to bed with this man, even if you think it’s casual sex, you open yourself up so that his feelings enter into you.  You may not realize it but you are picking up an entire library, a psychic archive of this man’s feelings about women.  You are not just getting laid.  You are getting imprinted.

Sex is an energy exchange.  If you go out and date a “bad” guy, a macho guy, an angry guy (or gal), whew!  You are sucking up those qualities into your being every time you spend relaxation time or sex with this person.  For the average date-and-run, you are getting your power taken away, and in its place you are receiving a host of negative images and impressions.  Spending time with the “wrong” person is a bad exchange.  You’ll never know what you missed by not allowing your being to blossom in power.  You’ll never know what doorways you did not walk through.

Back in the very olden days, sex was a high spiritual practice.  There was nothing angry, bad, foolish or weird about it.  People had sex to elevate their consciousness.  You, the power woman, can still do that by going to bed only with nice partners who do not harbor anger and resentment towards you or towards women. 

I’m not suggesting that all men are bad.  But many men have very disrespectful and inappropriate ideas of women, and during sex, they inject those ideas into you, without your being aware (in your state of sexual openness) and trash your power potential.  You crawl out of your twenties eager to get out of the dating mess and settle down.  Emphasis on the word, “settle.”    

You have to make sure, mindful ladies, that the man being allowed into your body is only projecting into you the highest views of your power and your being. And that will be the partner who honors the highest ideal of power in you, the tsunami fully risen. If a man or partner can’t accept that about you, then he/she is doing you a great disservice.  If you meditate, your partner’s doubts and negativity will prevent you from becoming enlightened.

Suggestion!  Go out with nice partners or don’t go out at all, and start to observe.  If you are dating men, find men who embrace their love and humility.  Observe the faster, more fluid energy body of women and the more grid-like, denser energy body of men.  It’s all around you.  Trust your intuition.  Compare a night in the sack with a partner who may be in a low consciousness with a bright, joyous, powerful and self-confident existence in which you help others as well as yourself.  Consider helping the planet by becoming as powerful as you can be.  Don’t settle, please!  

Liz Lewinson is author of Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution. She is also a speaker, technologist and Buddhist.  See www.independencering.com. 

Dancing with the Stars: All Women

Just came back from my second rehearsal of the flashmob dance for #1BillionRising on V -Day, February 14.  Here in the San Francisco area, the flashmob will happen on the plaza in front of City Hall, and the event is sponsored by the Mayor of San Francisco.  City-wide involvement in an event to end violence against women and support the well being of women is remarkable enough, but these dance rehearsals are a world of joy unto themselves.

My first rehearsal was at a dance studio in San Rafael, CA on Thursday night.  Almost 40 people showed and packed the space -- women of all ages and several men.  As we learned the steps from a gracious and lovely dance instructor, something began to happen.  We learned the movements.  We heard the words -- "break the chain" -- "You (all women) are beautiful" -- and by dancing and moving together, we invoked the power behind the words.  We achieved a special unity.

In older times, dance united the tribe.  Dance was a powerful and evocative way of communicating higher feelings and emotions.  So it is with this very inspired way to bring women of all ages (as well as some welcome men) to do something inspirational together.  DANCE!  Learn new movements and new dance routines, apply them to new music.  Simple yet absolutely revolutionary.

Today I went to a second rehearsal in Sausalito, CA and perhaps because I had to concentrate less on the movements themselves and more on the flow and refinement of the movements, I had another, even more powerful experience of unity and the power of women.  When you are pointing at the other ladies in the room and singing "You are beautiful," and you are looking at women with no makeup, no special hairdos, no special age or shape -- in other words, you are seeing your fellow women without the imprint of marketing and media and centuries of conditioning as to what constitutes "beautiful," it is quite amazing to discern just how truly beautiful your fellow women are.  It's mind-blowing because it makes you realize how many judgments you lay on yourself and your fellow women that keep you apart, and those judgments are not real.

And when forty women dancing are envisioning breaking the chain of violence and repression, and I sincerely hope Eve Ensler achieves her goal of one billion rising on February 14, that vision is impactful, unifying and visceral. 

The women in both dance classes kept saying, "This is so powerful."  It is.  I am honored to be part of it and to dance in the flashmob on February 14.  I hope women will read Independence Ring to keep the flame of power building and rising to the highest possible level.

Roe vs. Wade as a Global Imperative

The right for a woman to choose whether or not to give birth and to have access to safe, legal abortion services is not only a human right but a global imperative.  As reported in the Stanford [University] News recently, Stanford biologists Paul and Anne Ehrlich maintain that global civilization is moving toward a collapse.

The key drivers of collapse, they maintain, are worldwide overpopulation and overconsumption, putting an incredible strain on the planet's natural systems, and threatening to negatively impact all future generations.
A critical first step of the Ehrlichs’ roadmap for avoiding society's total collapse emphasizes equal rights for women worldwide.  "This will allow us to include more of their brainpower to help solve these problems," Professor Paul Ehrlich said. "And studies have shown that when women are given full rights, they have fewer children, which will help slow birth rates."  (The Ehrlichs gathered research from over 150 published papers to support this thesis.)

A woman’s right to choose is a powerful and positive weapon in the need to create population sanity.  It is a big part of the discussion.  

Said Professor Ehrlich, “The U.S. just had a presidential election in which the crucial issues facing society were not debated. Instead the focus was on financial problems easily solved by negotiation among people. You can't negotiate with nature."

Agreed, nature is at stake here.  As pointed out in Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution, it is natural for women to express their innate power.  This power should naturally be expressed in leadership including social, political, media, economic, educational and scientific arenas.  It is natural for women to choose the timing, frequency and occurrence (if at all) of child-bearing. 

There was a time, not that long ago, when child-bearing was a requirement in order to pass on a family lineage, to work a farm, to run a business.  Women might bear ten children and only three would survive to adulthood.  Safe, simple abortions were impossible to come by.  That time is over, and we live in another time – a ticking clock towards planetary destruction unless women sit at the table with their wisdom, intuition, leadership, articulate communication skills and complete control over their own bodies.   To regulate the biological functions of a woman and tell her what she can and cannot do with her own body is not only absurd but unsafe for the world we live in.

*****

Liz Lewinson is an author, speaker, teacher and technologists.  Her recent book is Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution.

Jennifer Lawrence and Vanity Fair's Sexism

Vanity Fair Magazine has proclaimed Jennifer Lawrence the most desirable woman in the world.  I hope Jennifer is annoyed about it.  She is definitely the hot actress of the moment, but she is also smart, brainy, self-confident, outspoken and funny.  On the Vanity Fair cover she holds a little white daisy.  It doesn't fit.  The person does not fit the title and the title does not match the image.

We are in a time of change regarding gender roles, fortunately.  The Vanity Fair cover is a jarring mismatch of old and new.  Little white daisy -- simmering, powerless women in pretty dresses floating around the garden.  Jennifer Lawrence, strong-minded and capable 22-year old actress, a new generation of feminist. 

This is what the cover did for me.  It provoked a thought process.  Are older editors at Vanity Fair, which is frequently known for demeaning photo images of women, stuck in the fresh younger women equal white daisies syndrome?  Do they have any idea how to portray powerful young women?

Yes, Jennifer Lawrence is attractive, but sexual attractiveness is the least of her traits.  She is athletic, natural and smart.  Don't push her boobs up and stick a daisy in front of her.  Praise her for being the most desirably talented woman in the world.  Still not a complete statement but a bit more accurate.  

Who is the most desirable woman in the world?  Women are. Why are we so desirable? Because we as women are great problem solvers,  we have an advanced intuition, we communicate well, we are comfortable with complexity, we are innately powerful.

It's really no fun to have mainstream media consistently perpetuating 50 shades of sexism.   #notbuyingit



Liz Lewinson is author of Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution.  www.independencering.com. @lizlewinson.

The Female Definition of Power

Recently, an article posted on CNN ran with the headline, "Female Senators Say They'd Already Have the Fiscal Cliff Solved."

There was near unanimity among the female Senators today that they’d be able to broker a deal faster themselves.  “What I find is with all due deference to our male colleagues,is that women’s styles tend to be more collaborative,” Senator Susan Collins, Republican of Maine, said.

The group of 20 women, the largest group of women in office in the Senate at the same time in history, is redefining power.  I would also say they are representing power the way it is supposed to be expressed.

Power is not the slow, cloddish, clashing of solid objects that thud together and get very little done or changed.  Power is fluid, rapid transmutation.  Look at nature if you don't believe me.  In nature, "the power of nature" manifests when the elements are volatile, rapidly changing.  Think of water rushing through a dam, wind turning the blades of a windmill, the rapid combustion of various forms of fuel to generate power.

When Senator Collins observes that women are more collaborative, she is referring to the innate ability of women to deal with and exemplify power.  In the case of a fiscal cliff, and one would imagine if pushing for legislation on gun control, women working together will find the fastest and most efficient path to completion, which by definition involves collaboration, fluidity, thinking out of the box of one's own rigidly held belief systems.  

A woman's definition of power is not control, domination, clashing.  It is sharing, democratizing and seeking new solutions.

Women in power will usher in a new era in our government. 

Things Got Switched

Why am I passionate about women’s causes?  I have been taught/have observed that women have an innate ability to deal with power, that it is their birthright to be powerful.  I believe that for women not to become powerful in their chosen field in any given lifetime suppresses the potential of both men and women.  I believe that the history of the suppression of the power of women has led to the current state of warfare, imbalance and poverty on the Earth.

Suppression and misrepresentation of the power of women is still the predominant global situation, but the situation is changing.  Ha!  Men and women should rejoice over this!  It is good news for everyone.
Attitudes change first, and the numbers will change later.  I see the work of talented younger woman focusing on socially responsible causes; the growth of powerful grant-giving groups like the Global Fund for Women; the work of the Pachamama Alliance representing the needs of Mother Earth; Hillary as Secretary of State; women leaders in spiritual communities and much, much more.

Yet we have so far to go.  “Miss Representation.”  All men and women should see this film.  It shows the misrepresentation of women in the media, the powerful negative impact this had on all of us (most visibly  in teenagers).  It touches on history in a striking overview of all-male leaders in the United States and the fight for basic rights for women.   The filmmaker, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, was able to interview many women from divergent backgrounds ranging from Condoleeza Rice to Nanci Pelosi, and a range of women in media.  Men are also filmed, discussing their experience of women’s roles in media and government.
The punchline of the film is absolutely accurate.  “You cannot be what you cannot see.”

Kids today (Generation C — connected) spend 10 hours a day immersed in various forms of media.  If all forms of media, from video games to film to cable, do not honor and acknowledge powerful women for their capability and brains, then what is left?  Brain dead bimbos?  Men who wield power and decision-making and women with insane bodies following along?  This is biologically and energetically wrong.  Untrue and detrimental to both genders.

I have been taught/have observed that men are innately suited for love and humility.  It is their highest and most effortless path.  Women are most innately and ideally suited to handle power.  It is their highest and most effortless path.

Somewhere in the last few thousand years, things got switched.

www.independencering.com

A Violent World

12-14-12

Today 20 schoolchildren and seven school administrators at the  Sandy Hook School in Connecticut were shot to death by a teenage gunman.  A few days ago, a shooting in a mall killed "ONLY" two nice, innocent people because the gunman's gun jammed, thus countless others were saved.  We know of many other violent incidents that are senseless, happening with no apparent reason other than the perpetrator snapped, lost their mind, became consumed in anger and violence, grabbed a massive weapon and took out their delusion and rage in the form of mass killings.

I don't know why this type of horror and tragedy takes place, but I do know this, and I write about it in Independence Ring. There is a core imbalance on our planet today.  Call it the gender gap, gender inequity, gender inequality.  Whatever you call it, solving the imbalance in the roles of men and women as seen by themselves and others is core to achieving national and world peace. 

All beings have an energy body, and a woman's energy body conducts light and energy more rapidly than a man's energy body, which is more fixed and condensed.  Women are naturally suited to handle power, as power by definition involves rapid change and transmutation.  Men are naturally suited to express a deep, rapturous love that is not just for one person but for all of life.

If women's power is repressed, and men's love is repressed, over time the result is toxic.  The gender role switch erupts in violence, depression and the axis of life spinning off its natural track. 

What can we do?  Gun control, yes.  More counseling, yes.  I would add more meditation practice.  That would help a great deal.  But mainly, men need to blossom and express love.  They are suited for it.  Women need to recognize they are vastly more powerful than they realize and find new pathways to express their power economically, politically, socially, .  And as these realizations develop and become part of life, gender equality means accepting infinite love in men and infinite power in women.  That is a balanced planet. 

Hillary and High School

A recent blog article in the esteemed Huffington Post brought this to mind.  Dr. Peggy Drexler tried to guess whether Hillary Clinton had been popular in high school, on the premise that if so, she would be more likely to succeed in leadership.

AARGH.  Forget the fact that in my high school, the popular girls were the first to marry, first to divorce, first to remarry, first to re-divorce, first to marry for a third time, etc.  Forget the fact that many of the popular young women stars of today – Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato – state that they were outcasts, even bullied in high school.

My concern is that dragging the mindset of middle school and high school years into the arena of powerful world politics is just another subtle putdown of women.  In my book, Independence Ring, I state that women exemplify power and men exemplify love and humility.  The roles have been switched to the great detriment of all.  

In middle and high school, powerful young women try to dumb and power themselves down to be less powerful than their boyfriends.  This is a steep downwards slope, as females are the gender that naturally expresses power.  I suspect that the entire rigid hierarchy, mean girls and bullying phenomena that we see in high schools stems from young women not allowing their power to grow and flourish.  They are purposely limiting their power levels to look attractive, focus on clothes, to see and be seen.  The power within them is there, but its natural outlets are being blocked. Repressed power takes the form of pettiness, anger and jealousy.  

Until I read Peggy’s article, I had not thought about high school for years.  I have some advice.  Women, become powerful. No one on the planet cares if you were a dork, dweeb or head cheerleader once you leave your hometown.  There are vast horizons to explore and your great potential to fulfill. 

Do You Really Want to Do This?

Do you really want to do this?  The question flashed on my computer screen.  I’d been deleting old apps off my laptop, but suddenly the question took on a broader meaning.

Did I really want to publish the Independence Ring: Rock the Female Revolution?


I started with the pros:

• I am writing about truth that most people don’t seem to know about.
• The planet is being torn apart and bashed under male rule; we need women leaders in order to survive.
• Even understanding a little part of the Independence Ring would make a big, positive change in most men’s and women’s lives.
• The book will help unravel many of the current gender inequality issues; it will speed up the success of the rising women’s movement.
• I’ll be challenged to learn video and podcast broadcasting
• I care.  I care about people.  This is my selfless giving

Then went on to the cons:

• Some people may get angry.  I’m suggesting that societies learn to tie their shoelaces in a new way.  Anger burns my skin, I don’t like being on the receiving end.
• This is my first book.  Big learning curve lies ahead.
• What if I go on “The View” and they don’t like the book.  Nah, that wouldn’t happen.  They would love the book.
• I’m a quiet person.  If I start doing interviews, podcasts and videos, I’ll become more public.

 PROS outweighed CONS by a longshot.

Tonight I watched a short film of Anita Sarkeesian’s presentation at the Tedx 2012 convention.  For the last several years, Anita has been creating videos to call attention to the overt misogyny and sexism in video games.  As a result of her work, she has received thousands of threats of murder and rape, yet she still persists in educating people about the video game gender problem, in which young children are exposed to violent, demeaning portrayals of women. 

Anita is a heroine.  She exposes a real problem for men and women, boys and girls.  The violence of the attacks against Anita prove her point. There are many people in the women’s movement today doing remarkable work, and each person, I am sure, had to ask themselves, “Do I really want to do this?”

Like me, their answer has been a positive, life-changing and empowering, YES.